"Poor David got a red card today."

And so I went for this FTM meeting yesterday.

I was apprehensive.
And I had butterflies in my stomach.

Will I meet someone I fancy?
And will that someone fancy me too?

Worst of all,
Will anyone discover my secret fetish for fellow FTMs?

Yeah sure.

I think I went because I was curious.
Of course,
You can easily find many pictures of ang moh FTMs online,
But what about Chinese transguys?
Now, those are rare.

Available of course,
But not too many.

And I also have nothing else on,
Since my status has switched from "slave" to "unemployed".

So was the session useful?
Not exactly...
But certainly enlightening,
But not in the way I was hoping it would be.

I accept the fact that there is diversity even in a minority,
But somehow I feel that I always get irritated easily,
When it comes to any discussion about FTMs.

It could be the T working, I don't know man... (-:

Pardon me,
But I did a freaking lot of research,
And I read almost everything I could find on the subject,
Including books I borrowed from the NUS library.
(Which is a great place for resources by the way.)

So of course I'll get miffed,
When people try to impose their ignorance on me.
Or go all holier than thou on me,
By feeding me all these bullshit,
About how it's so important to reach out,
To other confused youths.
(What, more lesbian FTMs?)
You know,
All that activism stuff.

What happens after transition?

I don't know what kind of shit question that is,
But you should ask yourself what is your goal,
When you decide to take the baby step towards change.

Do you just want to fulfill the simple dream of living as a man,
Or do you want to be the posterboy for FTM Illustrated?

If you can't even see yourself as just a normal guy,
Who else will?

Okay I'm going off tangent already.

Just my two cents that's all.
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion,
And so am I.

So sue me or something.

Let's move on to something less angsty, shall we?

I brought my bike,
To the inspection center some time last week,
And I was very worried,
When the dear two wheels started puffing like a dragon.
All because I ran out of the expensive Castrol 2T oil,
And had to settle for some mid-range 2T instead.

Well, I was so glad that the bike managed to pass somehow.

Now I desperately need to find a new job quickly,
So that I can afford a change of tires,
Since the old ones are as young as the bike itself.

Yikes, I know.

I sure wouldn't fancy a little skid-around one rainy day.