I feel a little bad about skipping class today,
But I just didn't feel like it.
Looks like I'm really getting off to a flying start this sem.

I've been thinking too much,
And my head really hurts.
I guess all along,
I've been in denial.
Pretending that gender wasn't,
And wouldn't be an issue.

Last night I was surfing,
And one of the topics I came across was,
"Who's going to date a transman?"
In a way,
Nette has been so special to me,
Because what I am was never a problem to her.
Or so I thought.
I finally have to wake up and face the truth,
When she decided to choose a bio male.

To be honest,
This fucking hurts.
I don't think I have the confidence,
For any future relationships,
Cos I don't ever want the same thing to happen again.

I've heard there are some women,
Who specifically want to date transguys.
Somehow I'm a bit uncomfortable with that idea.
It's not like we belong to a third gender.
I don't want anyone to accept or reject me,
Simply based on what I am.

It's not that I'm feeling negative about myself or what.
Just that I've to face reality sometimes,
And the picture isn't pretty.

Meanwhile I've decided to wait.
At least till I get a job.
It's so goddamn frustrating sometimes.