"You are never too young to be health-conscious."

I'm bored.

I took 2 days to adjust to life back home.
I must be going kukubananas,
Cos I actually prefer being hospitalized.

Even though I have to wake up at 7 every morning.
But to friendly faces of course.
Friendly faces and voices that I miss dearly.

I really miss Nurse L's teasing.
And the Milo that she makes.

By the way,
I apologize for the previous entry.
Too long to be read, I realized.
But then it's okay if nobody wants to read it.
I still need to rant and rave to myself.

I don't feel like stepping out of the house yet.
I feel too weak and dazed.
The 8 kg I lost had affected me in some way,
But I can't pinpoint it exactly.
I wonder what the 8 kg consisted of.
Fats, muscle or gray matter?

I hate what I see in the mirror now.
I was always skinny,
But never this skeletal.
I didn't realize it until I moved back home,
Because I was in my windbreaker all day previously.
T-shirts that used to fit me,
Now hang loosely on my skeletal frame.

If only I can pig out.
Too bad life will never be the same again.
I can't eat anything remotely oily or fatty,
In case the inflammation gets worse.
So I just stay at home,
And eat boiled veggies and fish with rice.

Didn't know eating can be such a chore.

I dreamt that I was eating KFC this afternoon,
All thanks to the new commercial they keep running on TV.
Maybe I'll never get to eat all the fried stuff again.
Maybe I'll have to pack my own lunches,
From home in the future.

I'm too young to get pancreatitis, damn it.

"Pancreatitis is a rare disease,
In which the pancreas becomes inflamed."

Incidence rate in the US is only 0.03%.

Lucky me.

I wanted to go for a ride just now,
But my mum wouldn't let me.
Duh.
Yes I got pancreatitis but I'm still alive for now,
And I want things to return to normal asap.
I went in the end.
The ride was smooth but I feel weak.

Sometimes I'm thankful that this attack wasn't severe,
Sometimes I just go "Why me?".
Since no-one can tell me the cause,
I don't really know what my next step should be.

Life is in a big mess.
What's gonna happen to my studies?