"Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

December the seventeenth.
Depending on the outcome,
This might be one of the most important days of my life.

I have a feeling this might be a long entry.
Notice that I haven't had any long entries,
For quite a while.

The story began yesterday.

I woke up real early,
At least by my standards,
So that I could make an appointment to see Dr Tsoi.

If you are a long-time reader,
You might remember that I saw a psychiatrist last year,
Regarding my desire to transition (to male).

Back then,
Dr Kok (the psych) recommended me to see Dr Tsoi,
And start taking a few shots of testosterone,
To see if I like the effects.

I don't know why,
But it took me one year to call Tsoi.
I guess I needed one whole year,
To prepare myself for the negative side effects -
Namely,
Losing the hair on my head and severe acne.

Heck.
I figured I'll learn to deal with the problems when they come.

Anyway,
Doing research on ftms for my honours thesis,
Has finally made me realized,
That I can't run away from this anymore.
I can't go on deceiving myself,
That I'm very happy with my current status.

Back to yesterday morning.

I took a deep breath and dialled Tsoi's number.

"Doo-doo-doo... Doo-doo-doo..."

What I heard was the 'number-not-in-use' tone instead.
Apparently, Kok had given me the wrong number.
How anti-climatic.

Anyway, the problem was easily resolved,
And I made an appointment to see Tsoi today at 10.

As usual, I had difficulty sleeping at such an early time.

Which explains why I woke up today at 10.09am.
I freaked,
Cos I've never overslept before in my life,
And quickly called to inform him that I'll be late.

The session was rather uneventful,
And since I had already conversed with Dr Kok before,
It was like narrating the same story again.

Well, except for one small hiccup.

"So, you are here because you want to become a female?"

On hindsight,
I should've burst out laughing,
Or at least died rolling on the ground.
But I managed to correct him calmly.

So what they say is right afterall.
That I look like a male-to-female transsexual,
At the early stages of transition.

But most importantly,
He gave me a T-shot.

So as I'm typing this,
Testosterone is cruising through my veins!

Actually I'm not very excited,
Cos the changes will come in rather slowly,
As I'm starting on a rather low dosage.

Which is good,
Cos I've no desire to freak the people around me,
Or myself out, for that matter.

Let's see how my life goes on from here.
If I can't cope with the changes,
I'll stop.
That's a promise I made to myself.

But we'll see.