"FTMs are not women who wish to become men."*

I've decided to blog today,
As a response to the question thrown at me everyday -
"How come you don't blog so often anymore?"

Nah, I'm just kidding.
With a googolplex of blogs out there,
Competing for eyeballs,
What difference does it make if I shut this down?

Anyway,
I was lying on my bed yesterday night,
And a sudden thought appeared in my mind.

For the first time in years,
I did not once think about dying for one whole week.

Of course,
I only realized this,
Because such thoughts are creeping into my head again.
I've been feeling a little negative,
Ever since my T shot on Friday.

Not that it has anything to do with the shot.
I'm always happy to get my shot.

But sometimes you just think,
It doesn't matter how many shots you've taken,
The majority out there won't take you seriously anyway.

Not just the average ignoramuses on the street,
But also people, or rather, friends,
That you've known for years.

Trust me,
I've put myself in their shoes,
And I know it might take months, years,
(But hopefully not decades)
For them to make the correct adjustments to their mindsets,
But it'll surely help,
If they start to take little baby-steps along the way.

What I'm trying to say is,
I'm just hoping to see some effort,
No matter how small it is.

Maybe it is just me,
But I've no problem addressing someone by a new name,
Not because it's second nature to me,
But because I try to make an effort.

I repeat.
I am not asking for much now.
I just want people to stop calling me "girl",
Or addressing me by my full name.

Do I sound damn pissed off or what?

No I'm not.
Just merely mildly incensed.

Anyway,
I went window shopping on Friday,
And saw lots of stuff that I really wanted to get.
But I managed to practise some excellent self-restraint,
And went home without getting anything.

Maybe my longing for retail therapy,
Will inspire me to get a job sooner.
There's a new SB Dunk coming out on Tuesday,
And I know I want it badly.

I don't know how I can suppress this want,
But I will try.

*Ask me why, if you think otherwise.