"I wonder why,
They named me after a garbage container."

I realized I've been blogging a lot less frequently these days.
Sorry I ain't got the mood,
When every single day feels like a drag.

Yeah here we go again!

Actually I'm feeling pretty sedated right now after a long nap,
So all the negative energy I've garnered throughout the day,
Seemed to have dissipated for now.

But I know it'll all come back within hours.

My friends all say that I'm a very pessimistic person.
In fact, an ex-gf once commented,
I'm the most pessimistic person in the world,
And it's getting more and more absurd.

What if I say that I'm not pessimistic,
But just plain realistic?

Right now I'm at this stage,
Where I see no light at the end of the tunnel again.

There's nothing like unemployment,
To make you feel completely worthless.
Like everyone else has a role to play on this planet,
But you don't.

Being single is usually fine for me,
But when you're jobless and single,
(And when you are a "pessimist" like me)
You really feel unwanted.

One can just tell that I'm reveling in my misery.

Not even taking my 2nd T shot could've saved me.
Even though I was pretty hyped up about it -
Waking up real early to have breakfast,
Before heading to Dr Tsoi's clinic.

I was rather anxious to get my shot,
Cos I've been feeling super lethargic for the past week.
Which I had attributed to my hormone levels dropping,
As I approach the end of my T cycle.

But Dr Tsoi insisted there was no need to increase my dosage.

The injection hurt a lot less this time round,
And I didn't feel any soreness afterwards.
As compared to the first time,
Where my butt was so sore I couldn't sit properly for 2 days.

By the way,
I do get irritated when people who know about my transition,
Keep asking me how come they don't see any changes.
Excuse me,
I am not taking a miracle drug,
And puberty does not take place overnight.

And I have this feeling,
I won't see any changes in the near future,
If I stick to my current dosage.

By the way,
I'm amazed by how people can bitch freely,
About butches and transpeople in front of me,
As though I share their views.
Or are they making a personal swipe at me?

But these people are supposed to my friends leh.

Whatever lah.

I went to "shop" around for a bit after getting my shot,
Even though I knew I'm totally broke,
And won't be getting anything.

I think I've never been more broke in my whole life,
Than now.
But I managed to redeem a couple of pairs of socks,
With my Topman voucher,
And also bought a pair of boxer briefs,
Cos I've finally decided I hate the way,
Boxers bunch up under your jeans.

Okay,
I think I'm going to listen to my Launchcast station now.
The only thing that makes me happy nowadays.

To rub it in,
I am also currently nursing a very sore throat,
Cos I tried the new beef prosperity burger,
And twister fries at Mac's today.

But they're absolutely delicious!